And I thought it was about me..

“Prayer is not asking. Prayer is putting oneself in the hands of God, at His disposition, and listening to His voice in the depth of our hearts.”  

Mother Teresa 

I’ve always had an interesting relationship with prayer. I’ve been equal parts intrigued as well as confused by it. And while I speak to God pretty regularly throughout my day, my prayer tends to be more like shooting the breeze. 

 

"Good morning, God.”

 

"Great work on that sunset, Lord.”

 

"Give me patience and wisdom during this phone call, Lord.”

 

All great conversations, sure, but they all seemto be led by… me. They are conversations about my circumstance or the circumstances ofthose around me. Isn't something missing? I mean, I’m speaking to my Holy God - shouldn't I feel more in AWE when doing so? 

If you have read my previous blogs, you know that when I see patterns and reoccurring themes in my life, I tend to recognize them as a way of the Spirit teaching me something. And I try to remind myself to lean into them. This week, the reoccurring theme has been prayer. So u can imagine I wasnt especially surprised when I saw my husband tweet that this morning's sermon would be looking into prayer through Psalm 5. 

 

"OK, Lord I get it - teach me more about prayer. I'm listening."

So no this blog entry isn't going to give you the answers I have found because its a journey I'm still - and maybe always will be - on. However, I do have some places I think I may start.   

I read an article this week that reminded me of the Lord's Prayer. I know, I know, I had to be REMINDED of the Lords prayer??

Sadly, yes. And In my pursuit to understand more about prayer I forgot to go back to the basics. What better place to start in my journey to have a more disciplined prayer life than the very words given to us by Jesus?

Our Father, which art in heaven,

Hallowed be thy Name.

Thy Kingdom come. 

Thy will be done on Earth, 

As it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses,

As we forgive those who trespass against us. 

And lead us not into temptation, 

But deliver us from evil. 

For thine is the kingdom,

The power, and the glory,

For ever and ever.

Amen.

As I have read through the Lord's Prayer I am astonished by how outward focused it is. The words “me” and “I” are not found anywhere. The prayer instead uses “thy”, “we”, and “our”. 

Humbled. 

 

Let’s just say my practice has not always looked this way. 

My desire is to focus my prayers less on me and my circumstances and more on Him. Whatif I were to simply remove my agenda and my desires from the conversations I have with Him? I suspect I will be amazed at how my agenda and my desires will form naturally toHis agenda and His desires. 

 

I just know.

He loved us not because we are lovable, but because He is love. 

CS Lewis

      In my family the kids often ask how I KNOW things about them. When I bring them a snack, "mom how did you know I was hungry?". From the almost teenager, " Wow mom, how did you KNOW I'd love this shirt?"

My answer every time is the same. "Because I'm a mom. Because you grew inside me for 9 months I went through hours of labor and have been mostly responsible for every need you have ever had. I just know."

What's the first bible song most of us learned? Well like most of us mine was Jesus loves me. 

Jesus loves me this I Know 

For the Bible tells me so

Yes Jesus loves me 

Yes Jesus loves me.

Well I want to ask you to recognize the counter part to the reality the song points us to. 

JESUS KNOWS ME THIS I LOVE. 

A friend said that to me and I wrote it on the blackboard in my kitchen. As I walked by it day after day I tried to marinate in that thought. 

This is not a trite reality. Jesus KNOWS me? Like REALLY knows me? And still loves me more than my human understanding can comprehend? EVEN THOUGH HE REALLY knows me like no one else?

I need to be reminded of BOTH realities. 

We all have a part of us that tries to put our best foot forward in situations. We all have thoughts and doubts we may not feel free to share with others. We all have insecurities we try to hide or cover up or overcompensate for.

Jesus knows me This I love . 

Jesus loves me (anyway) this I Know. 

 

When I'm feeling angry - Jesus knows me, Jesus Loves me. 

When I'm impatient - Jesus knows me, Jesus loves me. 

When I'm overwhelmed - Jesus knows me, Jesus loves me.

When I've lost all eternal perspective - Jesus knows me, Jesus loves me. 

When I feel entitled - Jesus knows me, Jesus Loves me.

When I'm selfish - Jesus knows me, Jesus loves me. 

Jesus doesn't love us because we have Him FOOLED that we have it all together. Jesus knows us and LOVES us. We don't need to clean up and THEN He will love us. 

Psalm 139 has become a favorite of mine , ill paraphrase it here, but invite you to read it - memorize it even. 

"Oh Lord you have searched me and KNOW me. You know when I sit and rise. You know my THOUGHTS from afar, you discern what I am doing and are familiar with ALL of my ways. "

 

Wow. Jesus knows me. 

Then Romans reminds us that NOTHING can separate us from His love. No amount of wrong doing or 

failure to meet a standard. Nothing.  ( Romans 8 ) 

 

Jesus loves me. 

We can't earn His love. It's done. He loves you because He knows you. He knows you in a way that makes my knowledge of my own children seem foreign. 

What an undeserved reality I need to be reminded of often. 

So when I'm tempted to ask as my children are "Jesus how did you KNOW I needed that?" I can imagine His gentle voice saying " Because Jerushah I knit you together, because I died for you because I know you and my child I love you." 

Who wants a treat?

Because we love something else more than this world we love even this world better than those who know no other.       C.S. Lewis


 By this everyone will know you are my disciples, if you love one another.   Jesus


            My struggle as I write today is to do exactly what I'm frustrated at others for not doing. To love. To not allow myself to be frustrated by the well-meaning - but so often mistaken - believers of the world. Why the frustration? Because to me it just seems so simple. We have 33 years (3 of documented ministry) of Jesus' life on earth to read about, study, and model. So when we are faced with a choice on how to react to or treat another individual believer or not – let’s just look at what Jesus did and do that. Seem simple? I'm arguing that most of the time, it is. I heard it described the other day as opening the gospels and "reading the red".

     Over the last several years My eyes have been opened more and more to the way the world sees believers. And it's not pretty. David Kinnaman's book Unchristian quotes a non-church goer from Mississippi who states that "Christianity has become bloated with blind followers who would rather repeat slogans than actually feel true compassion and care." - Kinnaman, pg 15 It’s sad to say, but the book I refer to is chop full of examples like the one I gave - and it was published in 2009; I fear it's gotten worse.

      The above verse from John, to me says it all. Others will know we love Jesus because we love them.

        When and why did we become a people group set on telling others why we are better than they are and what they are doing wrong? Let me ask you this - when was the last time you were attracted to something because it made you feel awful or fearful or guilty? I'm pointing out that people were DRAWN to Jesus, not coerced. Allow me to repeat that in case you quickly skimmed over that line - people were drawn to Jesus, not coerced.

         I heard an unrelated illustration that I think may apply here. Recently our family got a new dog, Rue. I happen to think Rue is the most precious and adorable dog who ever lived, but she occasionally DOES like to chew on things not intended for that purpose. Shoes, in particular.
 I’ve discovered that if Rue has a shoe in her mouth and I slap her nose and try to snatch it away, she only clamps down harder on the shoe. However if I shake a bag of treats in front of her, she’s quick to drop the shoe and all but trample me for the treats!

      My desire is that we would show the world the treats we have in so that they will desire to drop their shoe! Do you realize the love we have been shown by Him? The inheritance we have been given? Do u recognize we deserve none of it?
     
       Maybe the real issue is a lack of understanding who we actually are aside from Him. I know that's where my lines get crossed. When I am tempted to judge or look down on someone, the underlying issue is me failing to recognize that - aside from the undeserved grace of Jesus - I am as ugly and sinful as any of them.

      Elyse Fitzpatrick explains this concept with an illustration I love and go back to often. If I am standing on a mountain top, and my fellow sister is standing in a coal mine, neither of us can touch the stars. Aside from His mercy and grace in our lives, none of us is any closer to the cross than anyone else at any given time.

      Perhaps the frustration I expressed earlier is better described as sadness. I'm sad that so often the Jesus who loved so well is being so misrepresented to the world. To both believers and unbelievers
alike.

 We can love well because we have been loved well. So let's draw both the fallen believer and the unsaved into repentance with our love. Let's show the world the treats we have undeservedly been given and offer to share. When we can draw others to believe, it is much more effective than slapping their noses and snatching the shoe from their mouth.

Hydrogen and Oxygen

     Pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains. It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.”  ― C.S. Lewis   



    One of the ways I sense when the Lord is trying to teach me something is that I tend to recognize a theme. A theme in conversations or books or podcasts anything that crosses my path. I have started to recognize these as whispers from the spirit and I try to lean  into them and listen.  I have come across a lot of struggle themes lately. But with a twist.
       I have started to recognize - and maybe I'm the last one - that for the most part we all  attempt  to flee from struggle or pain  of any kind. This is after all nature - it's how we are born. Even as a baby we feel discomfort and cry until the discomfort is gone. We feel the discomforts of hunger and eat to remove it. The discomfort of heat and jump in the pool to remove it. these examples seem obvious but what about deeper discomforts?  
    What about the sadness that we have been hurt by a friend? What about the anxiety over finances? The fear of a health scare? What is our first reaction? Well personally - it's to make it stop. Go to the friend and hope for an apology - get another job to lessen the financial strain  get to the doctor as soon as possible to start FIXING me.

    Anyone who knows me knows I exercise . I love it because it makes me a better person,  a better mom and Im the rare person who LOVES to sweat. One concept I have recently accepted in yoga, (no I'm not praying to the universe or any of the other yoga misconceptions... I'm stretching sweating and hurting) is to allow myself to feel the burn of my muscles - let the pain be there, maybe even enjoy it. What if we take a new approach? What if our goal is not to FIX it ... At least right away. What if we switch our mindset and allow ourselves to lean into the struggle so as not to miss the purpose of it in our lives.   
        I was sitting on the beach a few weeks ago with a dear friend who first introduced this concept to me . We were discussing the discouragement a mutual friend was feeling in her life and the "fixer" in me wanted to help. My motives were pure and out of love but my wise friend suggested " why don't we let her lean into it... Allow her to work through it in her own time lets not rob her of the lesson here by removing her from the struggle quite yet". wow. Why was this such a novel idea to me? Don't run from the pain and struggle?
      I read an article this week ( again. .. I'm telling you the spirit is laying this theme everywhere lately ... Kind of nervous ) where the author describes pain and happiness as a combo deal. He says you can not drink water and ask for only the hydrogen skipping the oxygen ... Or only the oxygen and pass on the hydrogen. No they are a combo deal . Maybe the same goes with life here on earth . Pain and happiness are a combo deal. In order to relish in one you need to lean into the other .
     I'm so glad our sweet Lord didn't run from the pain. Was it a temptation? Even for Him? Yes it was but He took the pain of the WORLD on His shoulders leaned into it and WE came out forever changed by HIS pain.   
     Our sweet Jesus has Lesson for us in the pain. The amazing thing is we have hope. Hope  that not only will HE walk through our pain and struggle with us but hope that we will not emerge from the pain unchanged by Him if we allow it.  And I'd venture to say we then will experience the freedom and joy HE offers us even deeper than before.